Thursday, 6 February 2014

Planet Pain

I saw a gynecologist on Monday who sadly could not find the source of the pain. The whole abdomen was in excruciating pain (still is) and it could have been triggered by something in the womb. The good news is the womb is fine... except that I have polycystic ovaries. Since I am not having another child, that isn't a problem. If I did, that would be a problem as I am not ovulating regularly. I am totally fine with that!

But the pain! What is causing the pain?

It is as though I have my brain stuck in my bladder/abdomen area all the time locked in pain mode. I move, it's pain. I don't move, it's pain. I breathe, it's pain. I sleep, it's pain. Pain wakes me up. Being alive with pain seems to be an every-second-thing.

I am feeling so down and depressed at the moment. At least with the anal surgery, there was a timeline in which I knew I would heal. Now, no one can pinpoint the source of this pain which is crippling me. I feel like I am going crazy.

I am so exhausted to the point I am thinking that I must be a murderer in my past life. And that I am struck by karma.

How long must I live on Planet Pain god???????


  1. Hi Evelyn, stumbled into your blog after searching for fish paste. Don't Malaysian dr use opioid pain killers? Give you comfort first then find treatment. Will be following you now. Hope a speedy recovery for you.

    1. Hi there. Thank you for following my blog and for your kind wishes. I have an allergy to pain killers. Though I am able to take opiate painkillers, I prefer not to as I do not want to get hooked on painkillers and it gives me gastritis. Yes, doctors here prescribe painkillers like sweets. Before this surgery, I have not taken painkillers for 5 years. I am allergic to paracetamol too.

  2. Hi Evelyn, hope you are feeling better today. Don't be afraid to use opiods when needed. You won't get addicted in a few days of treatment.
    Can your allergist desensitize you from salicylates? They do it to people who are allergic to penicillin who require penicillin to treat their syphillus. American doctors are also doing desensitizing to treat kids with severe life threatening peanut allergies.
    Too much suffering for you..... May God bless you.

    1. I did ask my immunologist about salicylate desensitization. He said I am not only sensitive to salicylates but to chemicals too. And there are no tests to point to which chemicals. It's too big of a world where chemicals are concerned.

      I am so much better now where peeing is concerned. The excruciating pain is GONE!!!

      Thank you for your encouragement!