I saw a gynecologist on Monday who sadly could not find the source of the pain. The whole abdomen was in excruciating pain (still is) and it could have been triggered by something in the womb. The good news is the womb is fine... except that I have polycystic ovaries. Since I am not having another child, that isn't a problem. If I did, that would be a problem as I am not ovulating regularly. I am totally fine with that!
But the pain! What is causing the pain?
It is as though I have my brain stuck in my bladder/abdomen area all the time locked in pain mode. I move, it's pain. I don't move, it's pain. I breathe, it's pain. I sleep, it's pain. Pain wakes me up. Being alive with pain seems to be an every-second-thing.
I am feeling so down and depressed at the moment. At least with the anal surgery, there was a timeline in which I knew I would heal. Now, no one can pinpoint the source of this pain which is crippling me. I feel like I am going crazy.
I am so exhausted to the point I am thinking that I must be a murderer in my past life. And that I am struck by karma.
How long must I live on Planet Pain god???????